So, you want another crazy story, do you? I guess I’ve become somewhat of a funny guy here on this page. Everyone seems to love my insane stories and keeps asking for more. Okay, here’s one that was in the news a while back, and it’s a good one, so listen up.
For those of you not familiar with the competitive side of bodybuilding, you should know that tanning is a big part of the entire process. Many athletes tan for weeks in tanning beds before the big day. Others use peptides like Melanotan II along with tanning to speed up the process.
On top of all the tanning, athletes still need to apply a tan the day of the competition as well. You would think all that tanning would be enough, but the issue is that the stage lights are so bright that unless you are super dark, they will wash away all your lines and definition, making you look as smooth as a baby’s bottom. That’s not what you want after dieting for 20 weeks and suffering day and night.
Angry Coach Shoots Tanner Over Blotchy Work?
Some guys have a person apply products like Pro Tan or Jan Tana with a paint roller. I love the look of Dream Tan, but it is banned by the IFBB and lower-tier affiliates. It’s big in Europe and Asian countries and the NABBA federation. It really makes you look like a bronze statue and brings out a harder look than any other tan. I personally like the look, but I guess the governing bodies don’t, so it’s no longer allowed.
Anyway, when you get to the competition, there is usually a company that has a contract with the federation to do all the pre-show tanning. It’s usually done with professional equipment, and most times, things look good if the person doing it knows what they are doing. Now, things go wrong, and I have seen this happen before, especially if your athlete is someone who sweats a lot. The stage lights are super hot as well, so being under them for too long will have the athletes posing and sweating like fiends.
Now let’s get to the story at hand. It looks like there was a big competition in the city of Rheinbach in Germany. So, we have a coach named Dennis who was hoping his star athlete would win the show and take the overall title as well. But things did not go as planned, so listen up, folks.
Sasha, who was Dennis’s athlete, got his final tan applied by a guy named Alexander, who was running the tanning booth at the competition. Well, it looks like when Sasha went on stage, his tan started to streak and drip under the hot lights. This made Sasha look absolutely horrible and caused him to lose points.
Sasha’s Tan Was Horrible but Bad Enough for Gun Play?
This then led to Sasha not placing well in the competition, let alone winning the show and taking it all. Well, Dennis, the coach, lost his cool about the entire thing, even more than Sasha did. Now, as a coach, I fully understand the frustration Dennis went through because as a coach, you invest a ton of time into your athletes and to see them lose because of a screw-up from the tanner doesn’t sit well at all.
Now, you might be thinking that Dennis complained to the judges or even had a little discussion with the tanner, demanding his money back for such a terrible job. That is what most would do in this situation, but Dennis decided he was going to up the ante on this one to a level no one expected, that’s for sure. You might think maybe he assaulted him with a smack in the head or swore at him like his name was Andrew Dice Clay. We have seen in the past athletes hit judges or even break their trophies and kick their awards across the stage like the bodybuilder from Bangladesh I posted about earlier.
Nope, those things are way too weak for Dennis, and he decided that this tanner named Alexander would pay the ultimate price for his screw-up on the tan. So, within minutes, Dennis concocted a plan that would leave the bodybuilding world shocked and baffled at what he was about to do.
It looks like Coach Dennis waited outside the venue in the bushes for Alexander to come out. When he did, he approached him and, instead of giving him a karate chop to the head like most would do, Dennis pulled out a handgun and shot him in the abdomen, puncturing his liver and kidney. What the fuck, Dennis? That’s a bit much, don’t you think? I know these messed-up tan jobs can really piss you off, and I know from firsthand experience, but to go and shoot him with the intention of killing him is a bit off the rails, don’t you think?
You Screw Up Tan..I Shoot You Dead!
Dennis blames it all on Alexander, saying he aggressively attacked him first outside the building, but I don’t know about this. The fact that Dennis had a loaded handgun with him at a competition doesn’t seem like a normal thing you would have on your coach’s checklist of items to bring to a competition. Let’s see, I have the posing oil, pump up bands, coconut water for cramping, and oh yes, a loaded handgun with a full clip just in case I need to shoot a bunch of people at the competition. What the fuck?
Alexander was rushed to the hospital and was fighting for his life all because of a messed-up tan? He suffered severe damage to his organs plus nerve damage. This has prevented Alexander from returning to work due to his continued health issues from the event. Now, Alexander won’t take the blame for the messed-up tan either and blames it on Sasha and Dennis instead. He told them that after applying the first layer, they had to come back half an hour later to apply the seal. It looks like these two clowns didn’t come back for the final sealing, and then the tan dripped all over the place under the hot lights.
So, Coach Dennis, who has a rap sheet as long as his arm, was charged with attempted manslaughter and illegal possession of a firearm. He was sentenced to seven years in the pen. Even though Dennis told the courts that he was attacked first by Alexander and didn’t even mean to shoot him, it just happened by accident, the jury wasn’t buying this at all.
So, here we have it, folks. A disgruntled coach who shoots a man and almost kills him because his tanning job was shit. I don’t know about you, but I think Dennis here got a little too heated and acted out in a manner that is crazy at best. I know what it’s like to get the short end of the stick at competitions, and every coach does. Whether it’s messed-up and unfair judging playing favorites, or mishaps like a botched tan ruining the day, I know your pain. But trying to kill someone for something this menial really doesn’t make sense. A good coach is patient even during bullshit that can take winning the title right down the drain even when it’s not the coach’s or athlete’s fault. Some days you win, other days you lose; it’s part of not just competing but life as well!”
